Well, I had an old blog- but I decided to start a new one and write with the intent of some people seeing it. I like the idea now. It used to intimidate me. I figure that the people that read this are only people that love me enough not to judge me for what I write.

Today has been one of those days- it's gorgeous outside, the sun is shining and it's a calm Sunday afternoon. These days make me feel lonely. I find myself wishing I had a dog to take to the park. Someone to take a walk with. To make a picnic for.

So, I'm hiding away in my room, watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S and wishing that I was at home with my family.

Now I'm forcing myself to write.

There is so much going on in my head. In my other blog, I'd be able to just write it all. Now there is a filter. Maybe that's good. I could probably use some more of that.

I'm feeling pretty challenged today. I had a bad attitude leaving church. It's so different then what I am used to... and sometimes so different then what I think I need. If I have learned anything in recent months, it's that often times, what I think I need is not what God knows me to need. (?)

I do know that I need a puppy. I can't wait to get one. My lease is up in June and while my living situation is up in the air, being able to get a dog is going to play a huge part in where I live. I'm going to love that little thing with all of my heart!

God is amazing. I mean, wow - I was babysitting last night- about 8 kids (I wasn't alone- Thank you Kim!) and I found myself getting so frustrated at times. Good thing God doesn't treat me anything like I treat others. There have been several situations in the last year where I have just wanted and at times have, turned away from people completely. It's not godly. I know he calls me to be bigger then that, stronger that than.

I'm also so scared of being hurt. I feel like everything I do, is in an effort not to get hurt.
Don't love too much. Rarely works.
Don't stay too long.
Don't laugh too hard.
As if I could help myself.