19.

It's my "little" brother's birthday today.
Most of the time- and I really mean most of the time- I feel like I am still 19. When people ask how old I am, 19 pops to mind.
And now my "little" brother is 19. It's like any last hope I had of being 19 is gone. Certainly, I am no where near who I was three years ago. Thankfully.
So, why is it that I am so reluctant to admit to myself that I am 21?
I feel like I spend so much of my life , I know, all 21 years of it, ahead of everyone.... and then for one reason or another - stopped.
I wanted to stop being the mature one. And I did. I spent a year lost and completely detached from who I was - with no sense of self, and no backbone to support myself.
Then came, Louisville, Kentucky.
The year of me.
I moved there with no concrete reason to, did nothing of any great significance that year... but I am certain, that when I am 50, and if someone asks me about a time that defined me as a person , as a friend, and more importantly as a disciple- that was it.
And yet, I've still had to move on.
So God sent me to Augusta.
And already I have learned so much about myself now, and about who I want to be. It amazes me.
So, I guess that my wish for my "little" brother is that his year can bring him as much as mine did.
He is my best. I am so proud of who he is, and how hard he works to stay true to himself. He's a fighter, a worrier and an analyzer.
Some ways we are the same, some ways we are opposites - and that is what makes us such good friends.